Lose.

I'll bring you, Comfort

♥ Wednesday, August 6, 2008 @ 3:46 PM

tonight, we're about to phase off.

I am extremely shocked and upset to hear a slightly breaking news. I cannot accept the way my Ro is being treated, especially physically.

Eventhough being with you for awhile really make me feel content and bliss. Eventhough I didn't talk much but DAMN deep down inside I had so many questions pending for you. But when I were to see how tired you look just make me swallowed all the questions and leave them somewhere. Really. I am really upset with your behaviour. But then again, just who am I to judge and interpret the situation that I'm not even in? As I ponder over the issues, true enough, people change. But it's a diversity that everyone will go through. Nothing that one can do to stop it. But then. You should think a thousand time before doing something stupid. For once, think what will your love ones be going through after knowing what were you doing these past few days. Oh Yeah, she may just scold you but deep down inside don't you think she'll cry? Yes honey, she will but behind you. For awhile I really thought you deserve this but then after hearing the punishment was really shocking. Yeah, I didn't show any reaction cause in the first place I don't how to react either.

[I have delete this column due to some personal reasons.]

You know, I can't deny that I did have some turmoils here and there cropped up in the corner of my mind. I kept acting to be a happy-go-lucky girl. What a fool. Moreover, I am lying to myself. I now realise that all this lies can't continue anymore. After realising how much problems I've accumulated for the past weeks, a part of me wanted to cry badly. But a part of me wanted to ignore it too. They just keep coming continuously. Frankly, I'm at loss for words. I don't know the right words to say and I never will. I don't want to hear more words from you because all of them are often repeated and it kills me inside. Personally, I am not able to express to you how I feel from the bottom of my heart. Let us please just review back to what we were then. It was way beautiful- you can't deny it. You didn't ask for this, but neither did I. I love you so much and I am always here for you, you know that. If only we can have another outing like before. Smile for me dear...

My day today initially didn't turn out that well. It wasn't a real good start. Actually, it was, but shit only happened later. I am very sure that we both had enough of it. Well, at least I do. You almost make me scream my lungs out. I am reluctant to cry although I know that I am on the verge of tears. I just had to show my ego.

Here's what I feel from the bottom of my sincere heart. Fcuk all you people who tried to make my life miserable. I've had enough turmoils on my shoulders to think about so I don't need you people to add miscellaneous problems to my burden anymore. And after you've accidentally done so, do not even think about being nice to me because the scar is imperishable, just like a goddamn coloured tattoo. I am sick of almost everything. If you think that I am a jovial teenager, I suggest you think twice.

Can I put this straight in your minds? I have my reasons for not pursuing my relationship to a further extent. And the reasons are not because of my studies, the influences of the people around me or whatnots. It's just me alright.

I've confessed that why I didn't wana be with you and this is damn true, goddamnit. Believe me in this one, you put a hope in me that we'll make a come back later on but then... I don't think we have chance now. I actually think twice before typing these. "I may never fall for another".

I really think I'm overacting but...

And readers, if u do not understand what im trying to express then i suggest you don't need to because this post is just for my ONE & ONLY BABYBOO.